Harpy Squatter Appears for Breakfast

I don't know who this swamp beast is, but I woke up to find the creature bedding up ma couch, chewin on ma plantz and cursin up a mean streak. As you know, I've no fear of mythical-tawp creatures, and this one seemed friendly enough, but then I sawr the thing was a bleedin and a frothin. Her smell alone hath run afoul of nature itself.

I did what I had to do. I busted out the hot iron. I know, I know... it was harsh but if the law can't stop these Harpies from a squattin in ma house, sumbitches got to be taught a lesson, and shoot, I don't mind if i'm sayin, she turnd out lookin damn close to normalz.