Spoon Handicap -12

"Norwegians are generally slow to anger and accustomed to isolation." (Roland Huntford)

Logically it should follow that I am Norwegian and therefore slow to anger and accustomed to isolation. Well since I'm Irish too, I'm really not SLOW to anger per se (I know, I know... understatement of all blogosphere). I do, however, have the innate, unfortunate, hankering to maintain a certain distance when sharing a bed.

Not such a bad disposition I suppose except for the following quandary which has recently been brought to it's ugly light:

I can't spoon. I don't mean to say that I'm incapable of the physical act, I am, in fact, quite flexible and willing. The problem lies in my lack of enthusiasm and/or inability to stick it out for more than say 15-25 seconds. I get hot, nervous and want to Run like a flock of seagulls. Really, tell me, how can one advance a relationship if there's an inability to accept a spoon? I mean, Can I make up for it with overwhelming wit and charm? Apparently not.

That being said: I'm pretty sure that no book can teach me. Either somebody come to my aid, by say, slowly indoctrinating me into the Spoon fold (emphasis on slowly) or find me somebody completely willing to accept my obvious pair-bonding disadvantages.