Hansons Have Feelings Too

I'm feeling a little like the Court Jester that nobody wants to be around when I am off. Sometimes, I'm just not that funny. Sometimes I don't want to talk, type or laugh at anything. Sometimes I want silence and a hug. Yeah, I know . . . you're probably laughing that I said that - waiting for some big punch line. Hardy har.

So in case you're completely daft or are not on my Phone a Friend list (and let me tell you, this list has been AMENDED).

Here's a little list of some of the special things I had to endure:

1. This:

Yeah, woops, guess we kinda boogered up the vein into the wrist... this okay, tho right? Comfy. Great, now... can I get that infused with cheeseburgers and tots? Maybe some Mad Dog 20/20?


2. Gastric Lavage
Have you ever had one of these? More commonly known as the Stomach Pump. Really pleasant and leaves one with a voice nearly as sexy as Ertha Kitt. Nearly.

3. One cold, KY'd Finger Up the Bum
Just checking... true quote: "oh it's okay, you have a cute little heinie."

4. The Gastric "Cocktail"
I don't know WHAT this was, but it was white, and nasty and had lidocain in it, you know, so that my throat kinda felt like it all but disappeared.

Sunday Night... finally discharged! I'm feeling a little better, albeit violated and extremely weak (I haven't had food in a few days now). Walk to car (cause yeah, I drove MYSELF to the hospital) Call the Boy, see if I can roust him for a Cheeseburger. Cause GOD ALMIGHTY do I need a little friendliness, maybe a knoodle and a cheeseburger like nobody's business. Here's how it went.

Hans: Ok, done, un-hooked, ready to rock and I want a Cheeseburger! Have you eaten?

Him: Yeah, I just had KFC, sorry.

Hans wounded and it drew this probably overly-emotional-due-to-trauma response from me "you're kinda over me aren't you."

I proceeded to be told I was pushing him away with my neediness, because "really, why the fuck would I want to be around you [me] when you're like this."

"like this." again

like this

Right.... right. My bad. I should have been more understanding. I mean, here I was being pampered all weekend at the Fairview Hilton when you had to go out and fend for yourself at KFC...

p.s. Dear "I"--I'm over it, but man was I a sad sad lil pumpkin last night. Yeah, I was not functioning at normal levels and hyper emotional, but seriously. OUCH.