Hanson is always there for you. Need to escape a creepy guy who keeps spitting on you proclaiming that he'd "just like to bullshit with you some more" throw me under the bus, I'll take the heat. I will!
Need to put shims under your sink? Call me, I am a weight bearing Hanson.
Need to be distracted from creepy Mexicans (never trust mexican's that are drinking fruit juice at bars) I'll dance. Oh I'll dance and they WILL be distracted, or even leave. Win Win! Hanson is there for you.
But all this doesn't come free. No sir. I have some small requests:
Please make your toilets relatively clean (i.e. no Tidy Bowl Man Boats cruising around) and available for me to regurgitate bits of Leinenkugel and cheese into. It's all I ask. It's becoming somewhat of a bad side-effect of my wing-manning. I beg you. I ask only these three small items in addition: cold, clean toilet; one blanket and a couple of bottles of water waiting for me when I wake up and wonder just how in the hell that happened. Hey, sometimes I get confused.
One last thing... please don't ask me to throw up at McDonald's in the drive thru. Seriously. I have my dignity. You saw me dance, right?
Hanson
Yeah...slapshot, HUZZAHHH!
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